And I'm so glad we made it

Looking at the women in the opposite booth, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pity. I pitied not that she was dining alone, not that she was drinking more orange soda than I think I could possibly manage myself (and that's saying something, coming from a self-proclaimed carbonation junkie). I felt bad for this lady because she had a bowl cut.

I had a bowl cut once upon a time. Thinking back on it, I'm pretty sure I only requested it then because it was the only haircut I could put a name on. Well, I suppose I could have gotten a buzzcut, or a flat top (hey, it was the 90's), but I didn't want to be a jock, did I? Of course not, so why not get one of the worst haircuts possible?

But there was a women with that haircut in an extreme further then I ever had. her head was not unlike a large piece of red broccolli, if you can imagine it. That poor poor woman dining alone.

Why should I pity her her haircut? After all, that morning I had been sitting on a cold table on a sheet of butcher paper in my underwear while a man sat there and filled out paper work. Did I have a girlfriend he asked? No. No I don't, so you can eliminate that line of questioning. Fondle me while I cough, tell me to get dressed, then tell me no, you won't sign my mission papers because I have high blood pressure (a 19-year-old with high blood pressure? I'm not THAT fat, am I?).

Things aren't all bad, I suppose. I do have my "dens in dente". You don't know what that is, do you? I didn't either. Looking at my dental X-ray, I thought it was some sort of decay.



This isn't my mouth, obviously, mine's much larger. But that's what dens in dente is. It's a tooth-within-a-tooth. That's right. In my lower left cuspid. No joking, I have a spare growing underneath it. Mom tells me that her grandmother had thirds of some of her teeth too. Well, I'm tired of talking about it.

So I feel better. I'm sad I'm not seeing the play with my friends from high school, but really it's in my best interest to stay home and "heal" - you can't be "healthy" unless you "heal" "thy"self.

I came up with that on my own.