Monday, March 28, 2005

Petra Over Blackpools

Tonight I saw the Decemberists and Okkervill River. 6 things I learned at this concert:

1. I should have listened to myself when Almost Positive was younger and should have used the Mandolin/ Banjo/ and whatever the heck other instruments I wanted to too. It's that much better.

2. Songs must have more than the Verse and the Chorus. Ideally: Instrumental intro/ Verse/ Chorus/ Verse/ Instrumental/ Middle/ Chorus/ Verse/ Chorus/ Instrumental outro.

3. You can never be too old to rock out with fresh stuff.

4. Always leave enough money after buying CDs so that you have enough to pay for parking and you don't have to scrounge the car for five minutes collecting pennies.

5. The best lyrics come to you in concert- but you can never write it down.

6. The hottest girls have short dark hair, play violin rock, and can sing.

Vocabulary word of the day: "Blackpools" - a group of three or more short, fat, goth girls with bad haircuts who can't dance and bump into tall boys trying to flirt with them (or at least bump their butts into them).
-pro: you can see over them just fine
-con: you're standing next to them and you're a tall boy.



Thanks, Rachel, for the tip.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

ROCK AND ROLL DEAD AT 54

On February 24th, at about 11:59 pm, EST, an era was brought to an end. The Philadelphia station Y100.3 fm changed its programming to “The Beat”, “Philly’s newest hip-hop station”. This extinction of Rock and Roll from the nation’s 6th largest radio station marked the end of a career spanning 54 years.

Rock and roll was born in rural America, it is believed, by the rhythm and blues styles of the south, a style of music that, a century later, would strangle this most profound and beloved types of music.

Perhaps the most well-known characteristic (thought not necessarily a necessity) of rock was the electric guitar, another American invention born of foreigners. Adolph Rickenbacker, forerunner of the Rickenbacker guitar company of Erics Harrison and Clapton fame, collaborated on the first electric guitar dubbed “the frying pan” in 1931, instrumental (no pun intended) in the birth of the revolution of rock and roll. Many recognize the name Les Paul, who used telephone parts to create the first solid body electric guitar in the 1930’s, and was followed by Leo Fender in 1943 with his product bearing his name. Recently, 55% of guitar retailers reported sales that were flat-to-behind those of 2003. This represents a trend that has steadily been on the increase since 1997, with a marked worsening in 2000.

Some would attribute this to a new style of better music on the rise. I refute this and supply only two options to explain these tragic figures.

On the one hand, could you dare to claim that perhaps it is for the best that Rock and Roll dies? One surely could make sufficient argument, but that would imply another musical trend on the rise which is better fit to replace rock. Where is it, then?

Billboard reports of it’s top 40 albums, only 5 are rock and roll (including the perennial favorite of preteen swooned hearts, John Mayer, who I only include for his extensive utilization of the guitar and his feat of generally staying the heck away from country). Who are these survivors?

#3 Green Day- formed in 1989, they have somehow managed to release a chart-topping “rock opera” American Idiot that has been eaten up by the scavengers of rock, those searching desperately for one last morsel of rock and roll. Still, is a band that is over 15 years on the market really count as a part of the evolution of rock and roll?

#9 3 Doors Down- formed in 1999, more on them later.

#12 The Killers- formed in 2002 out of Las Vegas. Self-described “pop-synth-rock”, they released their album “Hot Fuss” with the prophecy that it would be “to sum up, a triumph. A triumph that will see the light of day concurrently in the UK [and the US]”. Out of all major rock bands to come out in the past two years, the Killers are, somehow, the only ones to have had such lengthy success in the charts (37 weeks).

#18 Maroon 5- admittedly, Maroon 5 is not my cup of tea, they are, however, the last remaining pillar of rock and roll today. These boys formed in junior high and still play today. That sort of attitude, reminiscent of Eve6 and Aerosmith, is typical of the rock and roll style. They are signed to Octone records, one of the last major labels to openly accept unsolicited demos from struggling artists, but if this is the kind of music they're after, I think I’ll keep Almost Positive on the computer.

#33 John Mayer- well, he’s a white boy playing guitar, that’s something.

These are the last of the best. These are they who are left to be overtaken by the likes of Omarion, formerly of B2K fame, and Tori Amos. And I suppose that’s what one may argue the fate of rock must be, in the end.

On the other hand, one could argue that rock and roll has been murdered by an inside confederate. Consider:

Creed releases its first album, My Own Prison, in 1997. The very same year, EryKah wins 3 grammys, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliot wins 2 Billboards, and Death Row severs ties with Interscope records, becoming one of the top major labels with such artists as Dr. Dre and “Fiddy” Cent.

Creed’s second album, Human Clay, is released in 1999. This same year, a flood of white rappers came on to the music scene, most of whom are unheard of now, so don’t feel bad: Cex, cLOUDDEAD, Ten, Bottle of Humans, Sole, and Cannibal Ox. Consider that just one year later the decline in markets shares of guitar manufacturers and retailers would begin. Weezer dies the first time:
“By this point, for whatever reason(s), not much was happening in rehersals, and they werent happening with much frequency. Management, concerned at spiralling costs of production without a known product (very little music was leaked out of the rehersals, leading people in various offices to worry that there was no music to justify the expenses) suggested that the band simply take a break until things started to move again”

This attitude would be a common one, with slowed production in rock resources.

In 2000, 3 Doors Down came out with their single “Kryptonite” and album of the same moniker. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Rather, I claim they were cohorts with Creed to commit “Rock and Roll Suicide” to the genre, working from within. Although their intentions may have been good, they no doubt played a crucial role in its demise.

At any rate, Rock and Roll is dead. Creed and other rockabilly stemming from mid-western America were the cancer that killed it slowly and surely. An influx in Mexican immigrants and the popularity of R&B on Mtv (or, some would claim, their refusal to actually air rock and roll) would create an inflation in the tap market to the point where today’s top artists are in terms of gangsta rap magnates “Fiddy” cent and the Game.

I do not, however, expect those who loved rock to cease their patronage. Quite the opposite, embrace it. Go to Virgin Records and buy yourself Abbey Road, or Rocket 88, or even, if you want to, Seventeen Days, the newest trash from 3 Doors Down. Anything you do in memorium of rock would no doubt make it very happy as it joins its departed disciples in the sky- Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon, Jerry Garcia, Keith Moon, and Buddy Holly. Play those vinyls. Play those indie labels. Doe your part and smile as you remember the good ol’ days.

Just don’t turn on the radio.

Somewhere, off in the distance over the river Styx, the soul of Rock and Roll sings quietly a dirge: “Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away…”

Monday, March 21, 2005

Harvey Kumpp

Blog! I suppose it's about time I did some of this. Tomorrow, I have a psychology test. I'm bent on doing better than I did last time. I feel like I have a much better grasp of the material this time, at least. Still, I have this uneasy feeling about it.

Dostoevsky taught me something today, that I can be pretty spiteful to others out of enjoyment. Perhaps I am an underground man of sorts.

Also, I noticed that if you bang the "Return" button, the "Delete" button and the Space Bar, that it can come out being like a drum kit. Each has a different enough tone, more like Takai than jazz, sure, but entertaining nonetheless.

The play's been all right. I'm anxious for the schoolyear to end, though. I'm anxious for the semester to end so I can get on with my life without being so worried about this. Speaking of which, I need to take my blood pressure sometime tonight. Fun.

R= return
S= space
D= delete

RR RR RR RR RRRR RR RR RRRRRRR
D D D D D D D D
S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S

Bang that funky music, reader.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

"The Sea Between"

Okay, so I'm feeling poetic lately, especially during play practice when I'm not onstage (for 40 minute intervals). Anyways, here's a little diddy I wrote and am trying to adapt to a song. It's interesting. I don't know, do you guys often get to see the creative side of me? Aside from songs, I guess I mean. I digress:

"The Sea Between"

When you feel that breeze blowing over the sea,
Whose cold breath stings the eyes to tears
. and hoarsely whispers: Storm! Storm!
The gulls glide on eternity, simply floating
. somewhere between heaven and earth.
Hell flashes in bolts beyond the waves.
Clouds of an indiscernable hue blur the boundary
. somewhere between heaven and earth.
Their message carries on the wind
. over the waves, through the soaring angels
. and hoarsely whispers: Storm! Storm!


But there is safety on the shore,
. security in the sand.
Your feet lie in the toiling tide,
Wrapped in seaweed long dead
Nostrils flaring, tears running, but you stand on
. security in the sand.
Breath deep and yell into the void.
Savor every vowel, every detail
. of their name.
Cast into oblivion every memory
. of their name
Listen to the words coming back on the wind
. over the waves, through the soaring angels
. and hoarsely whispers: Storm! Storm!

Monday, March 07, 2005

What the Dormouse Said

"0"

"This paper is NOT about the Dec. of Independence"

"What?"

"Thesis Poorly Stated"

"Blah blah! Get to the point!"

"No Outside Sources!"

"This w/o was discussed in class i textbook"

"All Outside Work is unacceptable"

"I can't make any sense of this. You didn't follow directions. Come + see me"


These are the comments one can find an a "Zero" paper. Yes! This man is a complete failure!

I never meant for this blog to become so darned negative. Things just swing that way sometimes, I guess. Now I'm off to play practice for the next three hours (so that I can read my TWO lines OFFSTAGE). Bitter? No! Whoever said I was bitter?

I mean, really I should be grateful. I'm leaving on a mission in a few months anyway (Ben, Rachel, did you know this?) so I'll at least have two years to get my act together or whatever. Maybe I'll figure out how I suddenly became a "D" and "F" student when I started putting actual effort into my classes.

"When upon life's burdens you are tempest tossed..."

Thursday, March 03, 2005

And I'm so glad we made it

Looking at the women in the opposite booth, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pity. I pitied not that she was dining alone, not that she was drinking more orange soda than I think I could possibly manage myself (and that's saying something, coming from a self-proclaimed carbonation junkie). I felt bad for this lady because she had a bowl cut.

I had a bowl cut once upon a time. Thinking back on it, I'm pretty sure I only requested it then because it was the only haircut I could put a name on. Well, I suppose I could have gotten a buzzcut, or a flat top (hey, it was the 90's), but I didn't want to be a jock, did I? Of course not, so why not get one of the worst haircuts possible?

But there was a women with that haircut in an extreme further then I ever had. her head was not unlike a large piece of red broccolli, if you can imagine it. That poor poor woman dining alone.

Why should I pity her her haircut? After all, that morning I had been sitting on a cold table on a sheet of butcher paper in my underwear while a man sat there and filled out paper work. Did I have a girlfriend he asked? No. No I don't, so you can eliminate that line of questioning. Fondle me while I cough, tell me to get dressed, then tell me no, you won't sign my mission papers because I have high blood pressure (a 19-year-old with high blood pressure? I'm not THAT fat, am I?).

Things aren't all bad, I suppose. I do have my "dens in dente". You don't know what that is, do you? I didn't either. Looking at my dental X-ray, I thought it was some sort of decay.



This isn't my mouth, obviously, mine's much larger. But that's what dens in dente is. It's a tooth-within-a-tooth. That's right. In my lower left cuspid. No joking, I have a spare growing underneath it. Mom tells me that her grandmother had thirds of some of her teeth too. Well, I'm tired of talking about it.

So I feel better. I'm sad I'm not seeing the play with my friends from high school, but really it's in my best interest to stay home and "heal" - you can't be "healthy" unless you "heal" "thy"self.

I came up with that on my own.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

My Constitution

This medicine for my canker sore makes my tongue numb. As for tomorrow, I have a full day of doctors and elderly inquisitors. But I'm not complaining.

I read a metaphor that I liked today. A character in this novel insisted that love is literally a virus. It spreads like a wildfire at very high speeds and, once infected, causes a person to lose coherency and act feverishly for the first few weeks, until the body gradually adjusts to the new bug and returns to homeostasis. It's when the virus is suddenly wiped out that the body reacts against its absense like a drug, becoming sick and withdrawn.

But I'm really not as pessimistic right now as these words would indicate. On the contrary, I'm very very pleased with things. I've written a few songs. Almost finished with them. I have a girl to think about when I'm down (yes, mom and dad, that's right). Hmm. Well, at least I'll have something to distract me while my orifices are probed on the morrow.

What a waste of bandwidth this turned out to be.